October 11, 2005

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  The Laws of Attraction
  Inspired by lichunsah

  
  

  (* Warning: This post is filled with generalizations. *)
  We’ve all heard it before. Men are dogs. Men are shallow. Men are pigs who lie and cheat and will jump on the first hot girl they can if they’re given the opportunity, no matter how loyal or faithful they may claim to be. They let their smaller head do all the thinking. They pick the hot girl first and will put up with all kinds of B.S. they wouldn’t otherwise tolerate from a less attractive girl. Women, on the other hand, are often willing to give a guy a chance even if he isn’t so attractive, because they look past the surface to other, more deeper things. Hmm.

  
  

  But is it all really true?

  
  

  It’s a convenient excuse to blame things on your little head. Granted, the feelings generated by your mini-me are fairly powerful and it can be difficult to resist the compelling to fulfill your biological imperative, but to say that you were the hapless victim of your urges and to continually use it as an excuse for your behavior is to say that you are no better than an animal. Despite your rational thoughts and your emotions, you are helpless against the savage, raw power of your instincts. Are men really this way? I suppose some are, but most are not. It’s true that men tend to look at appearances first, but take into account that humans are visual creatures that judge almost everything we know purely on sight alone. This is not something only men are guilty of. Women often judge each other far more harshly than men do. Besides, if men are expected to act first, what else should we base our decision on who to approach first? Perhaps pass out personality tests and questionnaires? Or maybe use our vast mental powers to telepathically read your mind and see how good or bad of a person you are?

  
  

  Approaching anyone you don’t know is a gamble. Every time you do it, you’re rolling the dice and hoping you hit the jackpot. More often than not, though, the odds are in favor of the House, not you. Some guys get sick of it and settle for a girl who’s almost what he wants, and for some guys that means sacrificing a little bit (or maybe a lot if they’re not a particularly deep guy) in the personality department, because ultimately, that’s what you’re gambling on. We all have eyes. We can see how attractive (or not) the women are. That’s the easy part. The hard part is trying to gauge personality. The females don’t make it particularly easy for the guys either, because ultimately they’re doing the same thing the guys are, but because they play the more passive role many girls have developed an awe-inspiring arsenal of tactics, tricks, and little games which they will never openly admit they have. So somewhere through the tedious ordeal of having to navigate the obstacle course that is our modern day courting ritual, a few guys might get tired and give up, or settle for less than what they had wanted, because realistically, maybe they feel it’s better than having to take that gamble again. And occasionally, maybe the girl will tend to be on the more attractive side physically, but lacking in terms of desirable personality, but that’s partially because of how the whole courting thing is set up to work.

  
  

  Is it impossible for a guy to fall for a girl with a great personality? No, it’s not. But there must be at least some physical attraction there. (The more there is, the better, natch.) Most guys have at least one story of a girl they’ve met who wasn’t particularly striking physically at first, but whose beautiful personality wowed them as they got to know her, and enhanced their physical attractiveness.

  
  

  Women largely tend to work in the same way as men, but because they search for different sets of characteristics and traits, it becomes less obvious because physical attractiveness is less important to women than it is to men in the sense that we are accustomed to. They do seek out various physical characteristics, but they are not all entirely related to attractiveness in the same way as when men seek out women. And because men are the aggressors, women often passively look for the attributes they desire in the men that approach them, but not all of these attributes are as deep as you might be led to believe. Some can be just as shallow as the more obvious physical beauty men seek, but because they are not things that are as easily picked up on, it is far more difficult to pick out a pattern. This makes it easier for women to cry foul against men because it’s very simple to deduce what we tend to look at first in a woman, and far more difficult for men to point the finger back, because most men don’t really care to examine a woman’s thought processes during the courting ritual that closely to be able to accurately say that they can be just as shallow as any guy. But ask any honest girl and she’ll tell you. Girls can be just as bad as the guys.

  
  

  They just hide it well.

  
  

  

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