If you've ever felt it, like really felt the genuine exhilaration of it, you remember clearly, vividly the time it happened and with who. When you first met, it was like passion and love collided in your heart and ignited into a fiery inferno. Never before had you ever met anyone who made you feel so strongly before, it was is if your heart were literally ablaze with emotional fury. Those of you who have experienced this will know exactly of what I speak. It's the moment at which all the planets suddenly seem to align and all the normally conflicting aspects of yourself are all suddenly in unanimous agreement. Of all the many different types of love I've discussed in my past entries, this is possibly the most amazing, but also the most dangerous. But how could it be dangerous? Is this not what we all seek? Isn't this the amazing feeling we all wish to embrace and hang onto, that we spend all this time and energy searching for in a potential relationship?
Passion is fueled by desire, and as such is like a craving, a longing, a yearning that wishes nothing more to be satisfied. To feel the fury of passion is to want see it fulfilled and fully realized, and often it is so powerful that it pushes your normally sensible, logical mind to the side in order to achieve its ends. Passion ignites your emotions and causes them to burn more brightly than they would on their own, and thus fueled by a raging torrent of irrational desire and lust, we find ourselves vulnerable. It's difficult to think clearly, to really sort out all the thoughts floating about your head, to evaluate everything the way you normally would, because your emotions are so powerful, so overwhelmingly saturated into your consciousness, that you're drowning in a sea of uncontrolled feeling and sensation. It's easy to lose yourself in this state, but likewise it's also easy to be led astray. Often, we place our trust in others to see things objectively and hope that our trust is not misplaced or betrayed.
Love, on the other hand, is decidedly different. Love is a very complex and multifaceted emotion, but generally, it is given as much as it is received, cares as much as it is cared for, and hopes for the best in those around it. Love is blind for much the same reason as with passion, because it fills you with ecstasy and elation. Often when in love, we are even more vulnerable, because by opening up our hearts to give love to others, our fragile hearts are left unprotected against potential assault, attack, and unexpected hurt and pain. When these two powerful forces find themselves united together inside your heart, it explodes into a dazzling, radiant star that burns brightly within you, and is one of the most extraordinary things you will ever feel in your lifetime. But in this state of blind emotional fury, you are completely open and vulnerable. Blinded by the light of your own heart, you are left to trust that your feelings will not lead you astray in the absence of your nearly paralyzed logical mind, and you hope that what you feel is, if nothing else, real and true.
But sometimes, despite our best hopes and prayers, things do not go as we hope or wish. Sometimes despite it all, it all falls apart or slips through your fingers, and the hurt you feel in the aftermath is just as powerful as the exhilaration you felt while you were in the middle of it. When you find the rare person who makes you feel this way, you are taking a gamble, a chance that they will not hurt you, that the feeling is not artificial or manufactured, all of the same chances you take when you seek a relationship with any other person, only this time, you're far more vulnerable and open to potential harm. Is the risk worth the reward? Is it worth it take a chance on it, that if your feelings and theirs are real and true that it'll work out? Is it worth the pain you might suffer if things go awry? These are personal questions you will have to answer for yourself, because each answer is as individual as the person who asks it. One thing is for certain, though, it will definitely be memorable, no matter how things unfold.
Is this feeling a guarantee that things will work out? That you'll have your happy ending? That everything will be ok? Unfortunately, no. The added bonus of this feeling does nothing to enhance or detract the long term potential for a stable, healthy relationship. In fact, the addition of this powerful combination of emotions may inhibit your ability to really accurately gauge how well you really mesh, because the feelings themselves are so overwhelmingly powerful.
Then, of course, there is the alternative: to settle. You've found someone good, someone who meshes well with you, who you get along with, who you're compatible with, who you can tolerate and care about and have feelings for. It's not quite the inferno of emotional fury you were seeking, but as you continue to run into failed relationship after failed relationship, you reason with yourself that maybe settling for something good isn't such a bad option. Maybe you could learn to find that kind of passion with each other over time. Is it possible? Absolutely. Is it guaranteed? No, not any more or less than the other scenario. Is it less painful, less risky? That's not really a guarantee either. In love, as in life, there are no guarantees. Everything is a risk you take with your heart, in the hopes that your trust is not misplaced.
Your determination to follow your chosen path in life is perhaps the greatest factor in determining your success; how many times you're willing to pick yourself back up again when you fall and keep moving forwards. It may happen on the first try, or the fourth, of the fortieth. You must pick yourself back up and try again after each fall, or you'll never know. If you try, your chances of success may be slim, but if you quit, your chances of failure are guaranteed.
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